Fic: The Wrath of The Whatever From High Atop The Thing

Reposts, ahoy! The first of many. Perhaps this is my chance to actually organize my tags?

(PIPE DREAM.)

Title: The Wrath of The Whatever From High Atop The Thing
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames
Spoilers/Warnings: Mentions of character death consistent with the plot of the film. Other than that, no!
Summary: “Pictures of Dom tonight, Eames,” Yusuf replies from the doorway, “or I swear to you, I will point out to Arthur that he has a stalker with no shame and a thousand dollar camera.” From celebutaunt's prompt at the kink meme, "Cobb is the presidential candidate, Ariadne is his running mate, Yusuf is campaign manager, Saito is the sponsor, and Eames is the campaign photographer who spends way too much time taking picture of Cobb's speechwriter, Arthur."
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it. Nor, obviously, is the title to this story.
Notes: The title is a quote from The West Wing and is, as mentioned, not mine. Now with bonus commentary track, here!

( 'You are completely hopeless,' Yusuf declares, throwing his hands into the air. )

Fic: Worth The Postage

Title: Worth The Postage
Rating: PG-13 (but only for language!)
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames, and a smidgen of Yusuf. Also, I feel I should confess that this could essentially be gen. Seriously, I'm not even posting it to any shipping communities. It's a pairing if you read it that way!
Spoilers/Warnings: Nah.
Summary: Eames gives in to a sudden whim and begins to communicate only via pen and paper. Arthur is annoyed, although maybe not for the reasons he'd like to be.
Disclaimer: Inception is certainly not mine, nor, for that matter, are SpaghettiOs.
Notes: This is myricarubra's holiday fic! Because yeah, I'm still writing holiday fic. So what if it's April? Anyhow! She gave me a fabulous AU prompt that I was totally incapable of writing, but which featured the detail of letters, and this is what happened. Ta-da? The title is from a quote which the internet reliably (reliably?) tells me is courtesy of Henry David Thoureau's Walden. The full quote is, "I have received no more than one or two letters in my life that were worth the postage," and it is only tangentially related to this story but the snark of it amuses me.

( On May 3rd, 2011, Arthur gets a letter. )

Fic: Where I Intended To Be

Title: Where I Intended To Be
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames
Spoilers/Warnings: No and no.
Summary: 'Oh Arthur,' his mother says rapturously after Arthur has escaped the ill intentions of the second magician and been singled out for embarrassment by Lord Godfrey’s steward through no fault of his own, 'I always hoped one of my sons would be a Heroic Archetype!' From the inception_kink prompt, "Fairytale AU. Don't care if it's crack or really a dream or completely serious as long as Arthur/Eames is the main pairing. Hell, Arthur and Eames could both be Princess Ariadne's rescuers who fall in love on the journey, IDEC. "
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it.
Notes: The title is stolen from the marvelous Douglas Adams (the full quote: I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be). This fic probably borrows more, in spirit, from Shrek, Ella Enchanted, and Terry Pratchett than it would like to admit. It knows it will never be as good as any of those three things (so I thought Shrek was fun; so sue me!) but it appreciates their contributions and is trying not to be too bitter. ;]


( 'Oh Arthur,' his mother says rapturously after Arthur has escaped the ill intentions of the second magician and been singled out for embarrassment by Lord Godfrey’s steward through no fault of his own, 'I always hoped one of my sons would be a Heroic Archetype!' )

Three inception_kink fills.

Hooray, writing things!

Three fics written for the Inception kink meme, none of them even remotely kinky.

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL. IN AN EXCITING, PG-13 OR LOWER KINDA WAY.

Title: Mushrooms From Toadstools
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames
Spoilers/Warnings: Very, very general spoilers for the movie.
Summary: “It is possible I never actually understood what hatred was until I met you, Eames,” Arthur says, trying his best to mean it and getting almost halfway there. From the prompt, "5 times arthur thinks eames couldn't possibly be the love of his life and that one moment of clarity when he realizes that he simply is."
Disclaimer: Absolutely not mine.
Notes: Title is from a Katherine Mansfield quote ("If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools"), which I have appropriated partly because I thought it was fitting, and partly (or maybe largely) because I was dying to use the word "toadstools" in a title for something. ANYTHING.

( Arthur meets Eames in the moments directly after at least three cars have exploded, which means that neither of them is particularly inclined toward introductions. )

Title: To be honest, I've got nothing for this one. It's Untitled Inception Daycare AU, that's what it is!
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Keep in mind that everyone here is under five, so things are awfully platonic! But even so, there's a bit of Arthur/Eames and Cobb/Mal (plus the entire ensemble).
Spoilers/Warnings: For the movie, yes.
Summary: “Children!” Yusuf says, “Truly, it is time for lunch! Lunch! You know, the time of day when you eat delicious foods and then get very sleepy and nap until your parents arrive?” From the prompt, "A beleaguered Yusuf runs a daycare where all the Inception characters are preschoolers or younger."
Disclaimer: Absolutely not mine.
Notes: I think Ariadne also wears this a lot.

ETA: cellophane_ria drew Arthur and Ariadne and legos in the comments and they are adorable. :D

( Ariadne giggles, shakes her head, throws a lego at him (mussing his hair in the process, which sends Arthur’s hands flailing up to his head to repair the damage), and demands that he help her build a bridge. )

Title: High Lonesome
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Cobb/Mal
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for the movie, yes.
Summary: I'm going to build you entire worlds, he wants to say, just so I can watch you explore them. From the prompt, "'You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure. But it doesn't matter - because we'll be together.'Five times Cobb said this to Mal and one time she said it back to him."
Disclaimer: Absolutely not mine.
Notes: The title is the title of a song by The Gaslight Anthem, of whom I am very fond.

( You're waiting for a train. )

Fic: The Inescapable Charm of the Countdown, 1/2

Title: The Inescapable Charm of The Countdown
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames, Cobb/Mal (plus Yusuf, Ariadne, Saito, and blink-and-you'll-miss-him Robert).
Spoilers/Warnings: Well, it follows the plot of the movie (with the character death that implies). But besides that? Nothing!
Summary: The worst thing about Eames, Arthur decides as he pulls his Thai leftovers from the office fridge the next day, is how infuriatingly competent he is. Arthur absolutely cannot fucking stand it. From the inception_kink prompt, "Arthur is a defense attorney, Eames is a prosecutor. (or, you know, the other way round. Whatever you think fits them best)." I did flip it around, for the record!
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it.
Notes: So, yes! This took much longer than I expected, and grew much wordier than I expected. About 30 pages wordier, to be exact. But it was wonderfully fun to write, and now here it is! Also, apologies for the legal inaccuracies. I know there are at least a few, and on that note, I will not be held responsible for anyone who uses this fic as their guide to navigating a court of law. ;]

( Arthur first met Eames when Mal took him out for lunch. )

The Inescapable Charm of the Countdown, 2/2

Title: The Inescapable Charm of The Countdown
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames, Cobb/Mal (plus Yusuf, Ariadne, Saito, and blink-and-you'll-miss-him Robert).
Spoilers/Warnings: Well, it follows the plot of the movie (with the character death that implies). But besides that? Nothing!
Summary: The worst thing about Eames, Arthur decides as he pulls his Thai leftovers from the office fridge the next day, is how infuriatingly competent he is. Arthur absolutely cannot fucking stand it. From the inception_kink prompt, "Arthur is a defense attorney, Eames is a prosecutor. (or, you know, the other way round. Whatever you think fits them best)." I did flip it around, for the record!
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it.
Notes: So, yes! This took much longer than I expected, and grew much wordier than I expected. About 30 pages wordier, to be exact. But it was wonderfully fun to write, and now here it is! Also, apologies for the legal inaccuracies. I know there are at least a few, and on that note, I will not be held responsible for anyone who uses this fic as their guide to navigating a court of law. ;]

( James and Philippa come into the office with Cobb during the third week of March (Mal needs a break, Cobb says tightly), and on the whole they are remarkably well-behaved. )

Fic: But It's A Good Refrain

Title: But It's A Good Refrain
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames
Spoilers/Warnings: No and no.
Summary: “You have to kiss,” one of the portraits on the wall informs them in tones of sternest authority. If Arthur squints, the fierce-featured, curly-haired woman pictured reminds him a bit of one of his great aunts. In which the dream world is cupid-ing Arthur and Eames together, and it is definitely not Arthur's fault. From bookshop's inception_kink prompt, here.
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it. Nor, obviously, is the title to this story.
Notes: The title is from a Regina Spektor song (On The Radio, here it is on YouTube).

( The first time it happens they’re doing a practice run in a Christmas party, one of Ariadne’s creations. )

Fic: A Puppy With A Closet Full of Dunhill

Title: A Puppy With A Closet Full of Dunhill
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames, Ariadne, Dom, Mal, and (eventually) Yusuf and Saito, plus a few blink and you'll miss 'em Glee cameos.
Spoilers/Warnings: No and no.
Summary: It turned out that Glee Club wasn’t so much a club as it was three people who were surgically attached to their iPods and wanted Barbra Streisand’s diva notes to make sweet, sweet love to their ears. Which was fine, because that was pretty much exactly who Ariadne was, too. Glee!AU.
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it. The same applies to Glee, and to all of the songs and Broadway shows mentioned and quoted in this story.
Notes: This is sharaith's holiday gift! Though it also classifies as a High School!AU, I suppose, so those of you who asked for one of those-- consider this a super special bonus gift? Or something? And you guys, I have to say: they are not all going to be this long! Or, if they are, I will probably die.

( Ariadne met Arthur in her U.S. History class. Or-- she didn’t meet him, exactly. She became aware of him. )

Fic: And I Feel Fine

More holiday fic! This time for papered. Happy Holidays! ♥

Title: And I Feel Fine
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Eames, Ariadne, Dom.
Spoilers/Warnings: No and no.
Summary: So as it turns out, Arthur is in love. This is not a particularly welcome revelation, besides which he isn't quite sure what to do with it.
Disclaimer: Inception is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it.
Notes: This is papered's holiday gift! Inspired by this lovely e-card from someecards.com, that most wonderful of websites. Title shamelessly yanked from The Beatles ("I Feel Fine").

EDIT: Now with fabulous and adorable art here, by distracterisey and a commentary track here!


( Arthur is waiting in line for his morning coffee when it hits him. )

Fic: Under One Roof

Title: Under One Roof
Rating: PG-13 (for language!)
Characters/Pairings: The Marauders + Lily
Spoilers/Warnings: Nope!
Summary: James shoves his wand back into his right sleeve and blinks dazedly. Combined with the glasses, it has the effect of making him look like an owl. A bemused, deranged owl whose perch has just been rocked by A Storm of Sirius Proportions. Sirius has Important Information to impart to James. Also, everyone eats dinner.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is absolutely not mine, nor is anything you recognize from it.
Notes: For ascenseur, possibly because she prompted the Marauders being BFFs for her holiday present or possibly just because she deserves many, many hugs and writing is one way I know of to deliver hugs via the internet. I know this is pretty much useless, but still! ♥

Possibly probably definitely inspired by this.

( 'JAMES,' Sirius bellows, hurtling through the front door of the Potters’ spotless, rundown flat. )

Fic: Portals of Discovery

Title: Portals of Discovery
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Spoilers/Warnings: Erm, spoilers for Harry Potter I suppose. The third/fourth/fifth books specifically. As for warnings, beware a totally screwed up timeline-- I've got no idea when this happens, and while it's not wildly AU I may have strayed from canon to put Remus and Sirius in Grimmauld Place when I wanted them there; I'm honestly not sure!
Summary: He shouldn’t be so surprised that he is somehow swallowing unsaid words without wanting to, but Sirius still manages to shock him into certain reactions. Remus and Sirius readjust to each other post-Azkaban and pre-veil.
Notes: For saraannette, on the glorious occasion of the anniversary of her birth. I was so totally neurotic about this fic that I emailed it to her, instead of posting, but she effectively squashed my paranoia with her squee, so I decided to go ahead and post. Title gacked from a James Joyce quote (A man's errors are his portals of discovery), largely because it sounded cool.

( Now the bitterness has increased tenfold, and it is strange and foreign and painful to hear it in the middle of the kitchen.. )